jared-padelicious:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

huuuuughdancy:

So the mark of Cain is a thing we should talk about

Oh shit.

oooh damn

6,091 notes
oh mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law
law man has put an end to my running and I'm so far from my home
1,843 notes

thebardofgallifrey:

fictional-dreams:

MISHA.

OH MY GOSH PLEASE YES.

37,553 notes

tomascooper:

the-girl-who—lived:

starks-drunkgaytendencies:

doctorlokiwinchesterholmes:

Selfies of the Caribbean

This is so important

I tried to scroll past this. I really did.

239,233 notes
  • Jack: Hannibal, are you eating a human being?? are you a cannibal????
  • Hannibal: No, Jack *sticks a human finger between his teeth* it's a metaphor
5,550 notes
what if your plants want to kill themselves but you keep on watering them? a part of yesterday’s dream on my dream diary (that freaked me out) 102,297 notes
lackyannie:

theangiec:

This makes me laugh. everytime. I will never not reblog this 

THIS IS MY NUMBER 1 FAVORITE THING OON THIS GOD FORSAKEN SITE

lackyannie:

theangiec:

This makes me laugh. everytime. I will never not reblog this 

THIS IS MY NUMBER 1 FAVORITE THING OON THIS GOD FORSAKEN SITE

kirstielovesart:

thevirginharry:

remember swine flu reblog if ur a tru 2009 kid

People were practically drinking hand sanitizer during that shit

559,784 notes
heyfunniest:

Pokemon irl 

heyfunniest:

Pokemon irl 

jaclcfrost:

bare minimum? i thought you meant bear minimum. as in the smallest amount of bears possible. which is why i brought one bear. there’s one bear. aka. the smallest amount of bears possible. i mean this is a problem but at least it’s not like. bear maximum

52,337 notes

dasvidaniyabitches:

The very best of Yahoo Answers.

443,138 notes
One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.
(via tildaa-) 492,996 notes
a-thelittledevil:

livalskare:

My new tattoo! :)

Perfect<3

a-thelittledevil:

livalskare:

My new tattoo! :)

Perfect<3

completely-dunn:

wifipassworcl:

thepottertardis:

apertures413thdoctor:

pleatedjeans:

via

Ellen what the fuck happened in 1998

ellen degeneres came out in 1997

yeah but ellen what happened in 2014

ellen page came out in 2014

completely-dunn:

wifipassworcl:

thepottertardis:

apertures413thdoctor:

pleatedjeans:

via

Ellen what the fuck happened in 1998

ellen degeneres came out in 1997

yeah but ellen what happened in 2014

ellen page came out in 2014