“6:20 p.m. A girl who looks to be about four years old walks into the dining room wearing bright orange lipstick, and the hostess gives her crayons. She is my only rival for command of this TGI Friday’s.”
This whole article made me laugh, but this line made me absolutely howl:
Life is a like a box of of mozzarella sticks. You never know what you’re gonna get, but you can predict with 100 percent accuracy that it will be a mozzarella stick.
loitering is basically the illegal act of existing while not spending money
isn’t capitalism fun
when two of ur friends are closer to each other than they are to u
You never know how much they say “Wildcats” in High School Musical til you have to drink everytime they do.
I’m reblogging this not because they say Wildcats a lot but because we’re acting on the assumption that people who are old enough to drink sit around playing drinking games to HSM and that’s beautiful.
"i don’t support feminism because i don’t hate men"
an amazing story